IHeart Organizing: IHeart: "Clutter Rehab" and a Giveaway!

IHeart Organizing: IHeart: "Clutter Rehab" and a Giveaway!: "When I revealed our new 'built in' bookcase, many of my observant friends noticed my stash of organizing books: Today I get to boast about..."

A bowl full of lemons.: Silhouette GIVEAWAY!!!!

A bowl full of lemons.: Silhouette GIVEAWAY!!!!: "My new Silhouette SD machine finally arrived and I'm dedicating this week to my Silhouette creations.  I'm also giving away a Silhouett..."

An emotional roller coaster

I don't know where to even begin... I feel like I am just wrapping my brain around the last 2 weeks and the scare that came upon us.
So where do I begin.. I guess you have to go back 6 months. At my annual OB appointment I was sent for a mama gram because I mentioned that I had some pain. That lead to " an area of concern" and a trip to a breast surgeon. There we were told that it was cloudy but not to worry.. we would do a recheck in 6 months. I left that day feeling relieved and not concerned about my follow up appointment. Time flew by and life moved on and before I knew it.. it was time to recheck that area.
This time I went for a mammogram and an ultrasound. No waiting I guess.. and I was sure that we would get the same report of check back in 6 months. There was no way I was going to do this every 6 month thing! It costs us $2,000 each check ( between mammogram/ ultrasound and Dr. visit) after insurance (thanks to a high deductible and not being able to afford lager monthly premiums)So that night I told myself we can just go get checked every year and be fine. UNTIL.......
Less then 48 hours later I received 3 phone calls while at work from my Dr.'s office. Then I hear that they found a mass on my left breast and i needed a biopsy Dan to be seen by a surgeon by Friday ( this was Wednesday afternoon) At that moment I think I felt the world spin and I lost my breath. The next 24 hours were filled with phone calls to get me into a surgeon and by the work of God- i had one Friday afternoon. Not only was I told that he is incredible, a coworkers sister is one of his patients and is battling Breast Cancer and he is another co-worker/ friends brother in law. Wow how God works!
Kasey and I went into that appointment with an open mind and confidence that it was nothing... and left being worried and the idea of me possibly having Breast Cancer was now VERY REAL! He said that he was very concerned because of the swelling in my lymph nodes and had me scheduled for a biopsy first thing Monday morning. This could not happen.. I have to teach, I am a Mom.. I don't have time for this is all that I could think.
Monday morning came very quickly and they took 7 biopsy's. I was quit surprised with the sounds the machine made (kind of like a drill with a pop) A core Vacuum Biopsy is what I had. It is NOT a cyst is all the Radiologist told me. Then we were sent home, with a titanium beast cancer ribbon clip in my Brest to wait until the following Monday for my appointment with the Dr. to get the results. Talk about the longest week EVER!!!!!
We didn't tell the kids, but I am sure they felt the stress in the house. i was confident that if it was cancer.. it was found early and I would be fine.. but how on earth would we afford it? How would Kaydon deal and adjust to the curve ball life would throw at us through it. I tried not to worry to much and would go through times of preparing myself to hear the worst. but telling myself that it would come back negative. I would be fine!
Monday came and my husband held my hand and told me that NO MATTER what we WOULD BE FINE!!!! We would come out of this stronger then ever. when Dr. Hernandez said the word Benign I almost cried! I checked the site of the biopsy and smiled as big as Kasey and. He set up an appointment to recheck things in 6 months.
I think the reality of what happened is finally settling in with me. The reality of how different are life would have been if it was cancer has sunk in. I am relived, but surprised that I don't feel completely stress free about it. I don't know if that is because I have to go back in 6 months to check again or what. I am sad and I wasn't expecting that. Not because I am OK ( please don't think that I am so grateful) but all I can think about is the women who have been in that same situation, or will be and get the other answer. That they are now on the battle field with the fight of their life. My heart breaks for them and their families!
God has a plan and I know that I have a lot to learn from my scare.. or " dodging the bullet" as I was told. I am humbled by the people who have prayed for me and my family. The support and love that I felt is cherished and captured my heart. I saw true friends care about me more then I ever imagined! I am so lucky and blessed and still don't feel like I deserve it.
So I leave this today reminded that our days are numbered.. and although we do not know them GOD does. Take advantage of EVERY day you have... you do not know what tomorrow will ring. Love Deeply, laugh with your whole body, dance in the rain, let go of the hurt and regret, forgive and be a light for others to see!

Forgivness

I have been thinking of writing this for so long and have tried to decided if there was even a point to post it here. This blog is more for my own reference.. for an outlet a way for me to grow learn and feel that by posting here there is a stronger sense of accountability. Sounds crazy I am sure.. but then I really don't think anybody reads this. I am by no means a writer.
Anyways, This time of year.. from Christmas through now.. I am always so concerned with " George" (Kaydon's Biological Father) as Kasey and I refer to him. It has been almost 5 years from the last time we saw him, heard from him,let along gotten any child support from him.I will admit that I have held a lot of resentment and anger of him through the years. I can not understand how you would not want to be a part of your child's life. Then again, I am so GRATEFUL that I do not have to share Kaydon with him. I would hate to lose my weekends or holidays or any other time... I guess I am greedy that way. Kaydon doesn't ask much about him and I am happy for this. I know there will be a time that he asks more and I pray that I have the right words for him.
I wish I knew where he was or how to send this to him.. but because I don't I will do it here.

Dear Alex,

I wish I knew how to start this letter and am hoping that the words that I am about to write find their way to you. It has been so long and so much has happened through the years. Kadyon is growing into an incredible little man and I am so proud of him. He is the light of my life and the joy in my heart. Everyday I Thank God for bringing him into my world and I know that God has a plan and this journey we have been on is al part of it.
I have had a lot of anger for you ... from the beginning really. I have felt let down, hurt and disappointed by your actions and the way you treated me and Kaydon. I don't understand how you can just walk away and neglect your own son. How you can just vanish off the earth with no goodbye.
I have complete trust and Faith in God that it is for a very good reason you had to do that. You may not understand and I know I don't but God does. Who you were the last time I saw you was not a good example of a Man for Kadyon. Not a stable healthy relationship he needed in his life. He needs so much more then you were able to offer him. I pray that this path you have chosen, the journey you are on, has a way of turning your life around and allows you to become a Man that Kaydon could one day be proud of! I am no longer angry at you, I forgive you and I pray that you find your way. There must be so much darkness and hurt in your life to chose this and I feel bad for you. There is good in you and he has that in him.
I want you to know that I have never spoken bad of you to Kaydon and I never will. I hope when he gets older and wants to learn more that I can help him and that he can see good coe of this and that you took this time away from him, to be better for him! I believe that your choice to stay away is your way of being the best Father you can.. and that as hard as it was for you.. you did it for him!
I pray that you find your way through this life you are living and come out a better man.

Laura

A bowl full of lemons.: How I organize with totes!

Can I just say I fell in love with these items and have a list already made of things I want. I am on overdrive in my home right now getting reorganized and simplified adn healthier. Bowl full of lemons has become a motivator and inspiration for me.. thank you Toni..

Check her out!



A bowl full of lemons.: How I organize with totes!: "I use organizing totes for just about everything... My 4 yr olds 'Away from home' toy bagMy 'Office in a bag'My Shaklee Cleaning suppliesChe..."

21 day challenge

So with the word SIMPLIFY as my focus this year.... I came across this 21 day challenge on a great Blog A BOWL FULL OF LEMONS! So today I begin my challenge.. and you should to! It is easy simple things that you can get done in a day. Good Luck

SIMPLIFY

Wow.. Welcome 2011! Not only did this past year fly by.. we are embarking on a new decade! The sound of that just revived me for a fresh new start.. more so then the normal new year. So to start the year I had to come up with my ONE WORD!!! I was having a had time picking just one from my list so I asked my better half what he thought and without hesitation he said "SIMPLIFY." I will be honest that sound of the was so refreshing, energizing and freeing! That was it!!! So as we sat and ate I of course could not stop thinking about this word and what that meant and if it would really be a good one. I actually started to get anxiety over it! There was so many things that I want to do this year that Simplifying didn't seem to fit. So we talked it out.. and he was right! It is perfect and I need to take it so much deeper. I am pretty organized and I like my routine and lists.. but it is so much more then that. I am a worrier, stress er, over thinker! I hold on to things and want to fix it all. So the word SIMPLIFY is EXACTLY what I need!!! This is what it breaks down to.... if you don't use it,love it,need it..... lose it!

• I will get rid of objects/ items
• Everything will be organized and kept that way
• No more procrastinating on crafts/ projects...I will work on them and get them done... or let them go!
• The worry and anxiety I get.. I will give to God! I am making a God box that we can all write things we need to let go of ( on paper) and give to God ( put in the box and let go of)
• I will not OVER THINK!
• Having an open heart.. letting go of heart and pain

So this is just a quick overview of what I will be focusing on and working on personally this year. I am really excited about it and can't wait to see what this does to my life and our family.

I hope you all have a blessed and loving New Year!!!!