Ready or not.. Here I GO!

Okay this has to be one of the hardest things I have ever done! First and formost.. I am NOT a writer! I am very uncomfortable opening up and putting it all on paper. However, last night in my Live Laugh Love Club we talked about PURPOSE! It got me thinking.... What is my purpose? I know what I do all day and what I get accomplished... but am I making a difference? I want to reach out to people, my family, my friends and let them know how much they are loved and cared about..... and I don't do it as well as I should. I get so wrapped up in what everyone thinks, that I don't give my everything sometimes. I am gaurded! So here I am .... an open book! Working on expressing myself! I hope you can all bare with me as I go through this process... and know that you ( the ones I am alowing to join in on this journey of mine) mean the world to me and I value who you are and your friendship. :)

So about me and my journey to find my purpose... here is the obvious:

1. I am a wife! I have an incredible husband who has not only taken me, but became a Father to my son. I couldn't have picked a better men. I have so much to work on to be the type of wife that I have always wanted to be.



2. I am a Mother... to 4 great kids!I have an incredible, creative, imaginative 4 year old Son. Kaydon is such a joy and he has my heart. Despite my past and the relationship I had with my sperm donor and that absolute agony those years of my life were..... I wouldn't change it for ANYTHING!! And I am so greatful that my sperm donor is a morone (sp) and has chosen not to be in the piture. I don't think I could handle sharing him!



3. I am the stepmom of three INCREDIBLE kids! Dylan, Carlie and Blake have captured my heart and I love so much! I want them to know that they are looked at just as Kaydon is by me. I just hate having to share them. I hate saying that it is hard to adjust to 3 more kids and the roll I play in their lives because people take it wrong. I don't mean it as a regret or that I am not happy ...... It is just a lot more Personal work and growth that I wasn't expecting... but I am soooo greatful for. I need it.



4. I have my family that I love more then anything and I wish that we were all closer again. I am sorry for taking advantage of that. I want to get to know them more.



5. I am now a part of another family..... and this is an adjustment to me. I am so worried of what they are all thinking, that they aren't seeing who I really am. Then I get upset that they aren't trying! I can do more.. show more..... and then they will see. ( This is one of the things I am going to be working on) I can only control myself... I can't control others!!!!


6. I am an Aunt to somre of the coolest kids out there and I want them all to know how much I love them!
7. I am a friend! I feel like I have been a distant and Lazy friend and it is a terrible feeling. I have the best friends a girl could ask for and I am so greatful for them.
   

So with that stated...... I am ready. Because you are not only going to see what is happening with The Richardson's and watch the kids grow... you are going to see me grow. I appreciate all your love, support and patience through this. I hope they are not all going to be this mushy..... and in depth, but who knows. I have so many areas to work on... all of them. But I am excited and ready!